Innocence, Imperfectly
by Riku's Rose
Summary: With their innocence now gone, Jack and Ralph cling to each other and face demons long gone and false insecurities. JackRalph. Slash!


Lord of the Flies is not mine.

This is SLASH. J/R so if you're offended, don't read although there's plenty of indication toward the pairing.

Jack's p.o.v

Author's notes: I know I shouldn't, but I'm in love with Jack and must write him. If it's wrong, I can't help it, his character is complex and it makes him incredibly hard to understand. Hah. But I try.

_Innocence, Imperfectly_

-

I didn't mean for it to go that far, I really didn't. I've never lashed out at someone like that and the look in Ralph's eyes, so frantic and scared that it made me crazy with desire and jealousy. Yes, I was jealous, horribly so.

It was something I've never experienced, the overwhelming feelings of rage, hate, and embarrassment consuming me and I had no where to go. Piggy, who was just so sickeningly smart, had all of Ralph's attention. All the bloody time. At first, Ralph wouldn't pay a second glance but then, his words got to him.

And that's when I lost it.

It wasn't fair. All of a sudden to have your best friend _ignoring_ you for someone entirely useless. That fat off had no idea what he was babbling about! Anyone can string together something that sounds intelligent. That was Ralph's first mistake. And his second? Simon. The boy was obviously bonkers, and yet he listened to him, over me _again_. Honestly.

So of course, my only reasonable option was to listen to the ever quiet Roger. Now he was a thinker, great mind indeed. He told me everything I wanted to hear, gave me plans and ideas I hadn't thought of to get my Ralph back. It was enthralling. I'd become Chief and everyone would love me, and that would include Ralph. It meant force, yes, but I was quite willing to accomplish it.

And I did.

I broke him. The fragile boy was now shattered and I had him running for his life on the brink of his sanity. Oh it was wonderful. There were no thoughts about Piggy or Simon anymore, but there was those bothersome twins. Roger took care of them though, so my job was relatively easy after that.

I chased him, as far as my damn legs would let me. The only thing on my mind was the way his body moved so sensuously, and how his gorgeous blond hair blew with the wind. I wanted him so badly. I still remember the way my hands fidgeted, itching to grab his waist and ravish him thoroughly.

But I didn't. I screamed and shrieked and tried to kill you but in the end, lovey, you got away from me. My precious pet, my ideas for caging you and making you mine were gone in a split second of seeing that bastards face. My chance was gone and I had no way of reversing anything.

On top of that, I knew I wouldn't be Chief anymore. This man destroyed everything I worked so hard on, everything I had control over in little to ten seconds. Ralph began crying and I remember wanting to lick his tears away. But I didn't. I stood and watched as they took them on the ship, one by one and then, they came over to us. What a site, really, seeing a bunch of boy's with face paint and make-shift spears.

We went peacefully, like it was a death sentence, our heads down and hands cupped so close it looked as though they were molded into one. We were nervous, afraid of what would happen if anyone found out about the murders. Would Ralph tell them, accuse us? I can honestly say I remember pleading with whatever God was out there to save my arse. I didn't cry, because I've come to the conclusion I simply can't anymore.

It was definitely irony when they stuck Ralph and I in the same cabin. Of course, I wasn't at all angry, probably the opposite. He looked so frightened at seeing me lying there, smiling at him and partly because there was only one bed. The words we exchanged were are still so vividly in my mind.

"Come, sit."

"N-no, thank you, I prefer the floor." Always so polite, aren't you Ralphy. Even to a savage.

"Come here! I'm not going to kill you again!" I never wanted to in this first place.

His eyes were so completely wide, like a littl'un as he made the trek over to my bed, sitting down on the smallest corner he could. I immediately took advantage, pinning his wists down. He thrashed and howled, but I covered his mouth with my own, finally tasting him.

It lasted a long bit before my hand traveled up his thigh, finger's ghosting across the supple pale skin and he shivered violently. It was all too delicious, the way his mouth parted so gloriously in a low gasp. We were young, yes, but he let me. And afterward, he curled up in my arms and sobbed. He screamed and struggled and slapped me. I didn't mind, really. I had already succeeded in what I set out to do.

"I'm sorry. I did it for your good, though."

"Trying to _kill_ me? And Piggy and--"

He said the magic word. That name just sent shivers to my whole body and the semi gentle hold I had on him quickly turned into a possessive vice.

"I didn't! I never planned to kill you, just a scare was all. Piggy deserved what he got!"

"And... and Simon? Poor unsuspecting Simon!"

"He was batty!"

I'll never forget his eyes. The way he talked of the boy, it made me jealous, and more than a little angry. Simon was seriously crazy, but of course, so were all of us towards the end.

"That doesn't matter! He was my _friend_!"

He started crying and I left the room.

We didn't speak anymore the rest of the way. It was the last time I saw him for a while. But only for a while. I took everything from him, in so many ways and I branded him as mine.

He wouldn't get away from me for that long.

-

_Tbc_


End file.
